You don’t have to wait to feel better

As physician moms, balancing the demands of our profession with family life is a formidable challenge. Amidst our busy schedules, the pursuit of happiness often takes a backseat, overshadowed by the daily grind. Yet, what if I told you that the key to creating a sustainable sense of ease and happiness actually lies within your own thoughts?

The quest for happiness is universal but often misunderstood. Society bombards us with messages equating happiness to external achievements or possessions. However, through my own life experience and coach training, I've come to understand and appreciate that true happiness stems from mastering our internal world. And this is a very good thing. This means we don’t have to have things be a certain way, or have people around us behaving a certain way or saying the things we want them to say in order to feel good or happy or content.

One powerful exercise I love to use with my coaching clients involves envisioning themselves and their lives after achieving their specific goals. What do they imagine will truly change, and what will remain the same? This exercise serves as a reality check, helping us discern whether our expectations are grounded in reality or mere illusions. A common example that most physicians can relate to is “I’ll be happier when…..” What do you fill in here? When you finish training and become an attending? When you find a near-perfect job? When you get to buy the house you’ve always wanted? When you have completed your family? When your kids are a certain age? When you can cut back on your FTE? When you retire?!

The fundamental insight here is that our emotions are not dictated by external circumstances but by the thoughts we entertain and pay most attention to repeatedly. This realization empowers us to consciously choose thoughts that evoke emotions we want to experience more of, gradually rewiring our brains for greater happiness.

But emotional mastery goes way beyond positive thinking. It's about embracing the full spectrum of emotions and learning to navigate them with resilience. This means acknowledging, allowing and learning how to process more “negative” uncomfortable emotions that arise, without judgment, and recognize their role in our growth.

As physicians, we understand the importance of discipline and determination in achieving our goals.

By applying these same principles to our emotional well-being, we can unlock a newfound sense of fulfillment and joy in our lives.

The path to lasting happiness lies in mastering our internal world. By practicing our ability to consciously choose which thoughts we pay attention to (which create our emotions), we can create a life filled with purpose and passion.

I invite you to dig into the power of emotional mastery as a key to unlocking our full potential as physician moms.